Saturday, February 25, 2012
NewMe v.2012 has been installed successfully
I know this seems like a total ego shot. It is fun to post a picture when you feel good about the way you look. But, what is most important about this picture is the way I feel.
At the end of 20069, my second husband called me at 8:15 on a Monday morning shortly after I arrived at work. He said he was leaving. There had been no prior discussion of our marriage being in trouble and it was just 5 weeks after he became an American citizen.
I spent 2010 crying in denial, trying to believe all the times he said he loved me it was real. By the end of the year, I was able to reframe the milestones of our relationship and could see, from the moment we met, if someone was going to be scammed with love, this was an example of what it could look like.
I spent 2011 pulling myself out of depression, slowly rebuilding my feelings of self worth and confidence. My bedroom was a cluttered mess with dust balls in the corners. I was tired more than I was energized and I didn’t care very much about the way I looked.
Today, I appreciate how amazing I am. I don’t mean to boast or brag. There is nothing different about me than anyone else. I just learned to open my eyes and believe. I learned to listen to the people who love me. I listened to positive characteristics which were reflected back to me. I committed myself to honor the part of me that sees the good in people. I am not going to be prosecuting attorney collecting evidence on how people shouldn’t be trusted. I am not going to close myself off to being in a relationship again. Yet, would anyone fault me for being bitter or for not trusting people?
Don’t say “Annie, you are amazing.” Instead say and KNOW you are amazing and have the ability to overcome any challenge.
I still have some healing to do. Though my room is clean, I sometimes cringe and growl at the thought or mention of a certain country. I smile and laugh at myself and know it will eventually pass.
Install NewMe v.2012
~~ Believe in Love ~~ See the beauty in people ~~ Appreciate the magic in everyday happenings ~ Take time for prayer, meditation, journaling or silence ~
YOU are amazing